Thursday, November 29, 2007

Yuck! Yuck! That is so disgusting!

I have a confession to make. I don't like animals. (Yesterday I told Courtlin that I hate animals, but I take it back. I was just a lot a bit upset about what had happened earlier.) In my interpretation, Adam having dominion over the beasts means he gets to build houses and keep them out. I don't like animals, and of all of the animals there are, fluffy, small ones are my very least favorite. It all started when I was 4 years old at the Jensen's farm. I was holding an adorable little chick when it pooped in my hand. Add to that several pooping, peeing, biting experiences with the Strege gerbils and you get a lifetime guarantee of me not liking small, fluffy animals.

I learned from my science methods teacher at BYU that if I didn't like snakes or spiders I either had to get over it, or learn to be a very good actor. Otherwise my students would use it against me. I think I like both snakes and spiders better than small, fluffy animals. But when Ian got out the pet rat when I was babysitting I knew I had a problem.

Well, it appears I have gotten worse, not better at tolerating animals. Yesterday when Kevin was putting the baby in the car on our way to the Syntheses concert I opened the silverware drawer to get out a hotpad when what to my wondering eyes should appear but the most disgustingly terrifying thing I have ever seen. A mouse jumped out of the drawer and ran under the dishwasher. Of all of the times I have used the phrase "screaming bloody murder" this is the time when it was most true. I was so convincing that Kevin left the baby half buckled and sprang from the car to see what was the matter.

Well, we set the mousetraps again in hopes of catching the vile beast while we were out. (I had had them set before because I had seen the mouse on the floor earlier this week, but they hadn't worked yet.) We went to the concert and I started out having a lovely time. Courtlin had the baby and so it was just Kevin and I, and I was feeling excited about being just with him. The music was amazing, but it was hard for me to surrender to the wonderful jazz because my mind was busy. I was occupied with various murderous plans for the mouse. I daydreamed about the things I would scream at the mouse the next time I saw it, about carving knives and tails, about inviting the neighbor's cat for a visit. The music really was wonderful. My plans were highly unlikely.

When we got home, the first thing Kevin said upon entering the house was, "Oh, there it is. Don't look." Success! The foul creature was dead in the trap. My knight in shining armor took care of it while I went to another room. If my feminist readers are scolding me for acting as if a man could do something I couldn't I say to them, "Honey, I'm a strong, intelligent woman, and as such I'm letting my man take care of me." We spent a while putting everything in the silverware into the dishwasher on an extra hot cycle and set the traps again. Kevin found another sweet, little, fuzzy animal this morning and kindly disposed of it before I was up.

In this house there will be at least two less mice stirring the night before Christmas.

Note: There are a very few exceptions to my dislike of animals. I don't have anything against toads and I actually like birds and fish as long as there is glass between us and no prospect of contact.

Note: I looked for pictures of a mouse to spruce up this entry, but they were way too disgusting to put on here. I would have to look at them again if I did. So if you're insane and think mice are cute, imagine your own.


Blogger El Chambon said...

Squeek Squeek

3:47 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

Well, I despise toads, have quite a dislike for birds, and would really prefer not to have fish. (just thinking of them makes me almost gag) So, looks like we'll have an animal-free house, as long as we don't give in to our children, if they for some reason want a pet. Which we won't. Hooray!!

3:59 PM  
Blogger breckster said...

One time when I was visiting Mom and Dad there was a mouse... and dad was gone. Mom and I did lots of screaming, and jumping, and after turning over a chair and blocking with a broom we got the mouse under a icecream bucket (the tail was not under the icecream bucket it was so creapy!). Dad came home and took care of it. Every time I hear squeaking here I am afraid we are infested. Good luck getting all of them out!

8:24 AM  
Blogger Lark said...

When I was in the seventh grade I wanted to do a science project with live mice. My mother was a scientist and had used mice at work. I planned to feed one mouse differently than the other. Then I would track the results in weight gained or lost. My dad had a cage with two rooms. There was a wooden wall between the two sides. My mother brought home some gram weights and a scale from her lab at the University of Utah. Then we went to a pet store and bought two white mice. When I reached in the box and picked up the first mouse to put it into the cage it bit my thumb. Boy did that hurt! My mother put the second mouse in its side of the cage. We put the cage in the basement and I feed and watered the mice for weeks pretending to weight them. But I never touched them after I was bit. I carefully compiled made up data for my written report for science class. After the report was done I continued to feed and water the mice while they gnawed a hole in the wooden wall between them. Then came the tiny baby mice that disappeared. I believe they ate them. After several months my mother took the mice cage and all to my little brother Wesley’s nursery school where they became food for the pet snake. Forty six years later I feel justified in inventing scientific data. I had learned not to touch a mouse twice.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Tammy Lorna said...


I like animals that I can eat, ride or wear.... and I sort of tend to like them only when I'm eating, riding and wearing them....

Yes, I'm aware that makes me a horrible person!

:) Tammy

12:58 AM  
Blogger Becca said...

hahahaha, you are hilarious. :) my mouse must have been far cuter than your mouse!

2:06 PM  

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