Friday, June 28, 2013

Fishing for Compliments

The other day Reasor was walking up the stairs in front of me.  I patted his little bottom on the way up.

Reasor:  Mo-oom, don't do that!
Talyn:  Oh, I'm sorry.  It's just that your bottom is so cute and little.
Reasor:  Your bottom is cute and little.
Our matching cute, little bottoms

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Granola Nutrition

It seems to be in vogue to hate on foods with ingredients you can't pronounce.  Though I understand and agree with the idea that we should be eating food rather than chemicals, this pronunciation standard seems arbitrary.  I mean, I know plenty of people who can't correctly pronounce the word "Italian". Heck, I found out a couple of weeks ago that I have spend my whole life mispronouncing "fructose".  (Short 'u' sound.  Who knew?) Not to mention the fact that I am surrounded by Canadians who think the way I pronounce "pasta" is weird.

...The End.  Conclusions aren't my strong point.

Sunday, June 23, 2013


On Wednesday nights I often play basketball with some women at the church.  I spend a lot of time apologizing for crashing into people.  Formerly an anti-athelete, I'm not sure whether this is proper protocol. Can they tell that I'm only crashing into them due to clumsiness and not because I'm an aggressive player?  I mean, they foul in the NBA and it's not because they are a bunch of bumbling klutzes.  If they apologize they never show it on TV.  The more experienced players on Wednesday nights apologize less.  Is this due to their being aware of what's appropriate, or because they are not as incompetent?  At the end of one of these evenings two of the women expressed embarrassment and apologized for being sweaty.


Yes, at the end of full-court four-on-four they thought being sweaty was uncalled for.  This, I know enough about exercise to say, was ridiculous.  At the end of an hour of vigorous exercise, one should be sweating.  There are some things we as women spend far too much time being embarrassed about and apologizing for.  And thus I am compiling a list for myself of things that I will not apologize for.  I think they are reasonable parts of my reality and should not induce embarrassment.  So far I have:

  • Sweating while working out.
  • Having a home that looks like people live in it.
  • Having a body that belongs to a mother rather than one that belongs to a teenage girl.
  • Wearing yoga pants all day from time to time.
  • Having my hair in a ponytail.
  • Having evidence of young children on my clothing.  (Cookie smears do not require a wardrobe change.  I'm doing the laundry here, people.)
  • Taking a break during the day, even if this means encouraging a certain small child to watch television for a bit.  
  • Allowing my child to wear his pants backward and his shoes on the wrong feet if he feels like it. 
  • Allowing my children to pick their own clothing.
  • Occasionally serving oatmeal for dinner.  Even when daddy is home.
  • Dancing like a dweeb.
OK, I'm still working on suppressing the embarrassment induced by that last one.  But I aspire to dancing like a dweeb and just enjoying it.  I think that's a reasonable goal for my current reality.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Unreasonable Requests

The consensus in my home is that the following requests are too much to ask:

  1. Do not ask me to prepare you a snack when I am in the middle of preparing you a meal.
  2. Do not ask for seconds before I have had the chance to sit down and take my first bite.  
  3. Discontinue repetitive requests when I get that wild look in my eye.  
  4. When finished eating, do not throw your remaining food onto the floor.
  5. Keep toys out of the kitchen.
  6. Do not step on my feet.
  7. Do not hang on my arms while I am wielding a knife.  
On the other hand, these actions are freely given:
  1. Make funny faces until I laugh.
  2. Learn and grow at incredible speed.
  3. Cuddle and read with me.
  4. Forgive eruptions.
  5. Play with incredible creativity.
  6. Be generally hilarious.
  7. Take care of each other.